**News Flash**

I was contacted by the folks at Bloomberg (yes - you read that right…they actually sent me a press release) with the news that that John Oates will be interviewed tonight on the show “Night Talk” on Bloomberg TV. Apparently the interview will be available on their web site after the show.

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It’s no secret that I am a fan of mustaches. And there is perhaps no finer mustache than the one adorning the upper lip of John Oates. Ever since discovering John Oates’ mustache on the Herb Urban blog, I have been on the lookout to purchase a Hall & Oates album of my very own.

Well I am happy to report that day has finally come! Just this past weekend, I stumbled across the 1982 record H20 by Daryl Hall and John Oates at Rubato Records.

The first song on the album, “Maneater”, is actually kind of catchy. A little too catchy. I’ve actually caught myself singing it a few too many times over the past few days.  “Oh here she comes, watch out boy she’ll chew you up, oh here she comes, she’s a maneater!”

But the album quickly devolves from there. As we listened to the next song, “Crime Pays,” RollerReggie simply shook his head. “I feel like I am in synth hell,” he moaned. “This song embodies everything I hated about eighties music!”

And so it continued.  We couldn’t even make it to the B side of the record.  RollerReggie and I were overcome with the sheer eighties force of H20.  And the saxophone solos.

But, I didn’t really spend $3.99 to actually listen to this record.  I bought it because John Oates has the best mustache ever.  Therefore, I am one satisfied customer.

Bread. Tasty when slathered with butter and jam, but by itself bread is pretty boring stuff. As it turns out, this is an instructive parallel to Bread the band. Unless you want to relive romantic soft rock ballads from the early seventies, I wouldn’t recommend making a point of listening to Bread. Yawn.

I can’t get ABBA’s songs out of my head no matter how hard I try. There is no danger of that happening with Bread. As the Superseventies web site notes, “Bread has turned being lukewarm into an art form.” With smooth songs like “Make It With You” and “Baby I’m-A Want You” (what does that even mean, by the way?) on the Best of Bread album, I tend to forget that I’m even listening to music at all.

That’s the bad news. The good news about Bread is that they had some really nice mustaches, back in the day. I’m particularly fond of the mustache sported by Mike Botts, the drummer (pictured below).

The seventies were a good decade for the mustache. The seventies were also a good decade for sideburns, afros, and chest hair. But who can deny the mighty power of the mustache? Not since the late 1800’s had facial hair on one’s upper lip enjoyed such popularity.

And there are so many different kinds of mustaches to choose from! The Handlebar, the Fu Manchu, the toothbrush, the walrus…the list is endless. If I could grow a mustache, I would almost certainly find myself in a dilemma as to which style to grow.

As I learned more about the mustache, I discovered that there are clubs and competitions that exist soley to celebrate facial hair. Who knew? For example, The Handlebar Club was founded in 1947. The World Beard and Moustache Association exists to “promote the worldwide appreciation of beards and moustaches, and to co-ordinate international events, including competitions, held in such a manner as to encourage friendship among those with beards and moustaches.” Should you want to stay up-to-date on our very own Team Beard USA, check out the The Beard Team USA Blog (they talk about mustaches too).

A number of the members of the Village People sported mustaches, including Glenn Hughes. As I have elaborated in great detail in a previous blog post, Shaft’s star Richard Roundtree had a particularly fine mustache (and still does). Richard Roundtree brought the mustache to an entirely new level. Of course, no conversation about mustaches is complete without mentioning perhaps the most infamous mustache of them all. The truly amazing, the one and only, the mustache to beat all mustaches… worn with aplomb by Tom Selleck. I know, I know, Tom is more of an 80’s icon than a 70’s icon, but he was also prolific in the seventies so I feel compelled to include him.

Before I end my ode to facial hair, I leave you with one last mustache. No one can pull off the walrus mustache quite like Frank Zappa:

I’ve seen the movie Shaft before, but it’s been a few years and I had largely forgotten what a great movie it is. Fistfights! Tight leather pants! Moustaches! A daring rescue! It just doesn’t get much better than this.

The movie takes place in the swinging early seventies in gritty, urban New York. John Shaft, played by Richard Roundtree, is a private detective who is respected by the black community because he hasn’t sold out to the man, and he is respected by the white community because he is the man. Shaft is not intimidated by pressure from the cops, he plays hardball with black gang leaders, and he beats up the mafia. As his theme song attests, “this cat is one bad mother…” “shut your mouth!” chimes in the background vocals.

In tribute to Shaft, I have compiled a list reasons why Shaft is the baddest badass of them all.

1. Shaft is not afraid to express himself. His first words in the movie as he jaywalks and is almost run over by a taxi: “Up Yours!”
2. Look at that moustache! So perfect. So shiny. So… moustacular!
3. Shaft is a real ladies man. What was his name again? Shaft. Hmm… not very subtle.
4. In case you forget that Shaft is a real ladies man, the theme song reminds us: “Who’s the black private dick who’s a sex machine to all the chicks? Shaft! You’re damn right.”
5. Speaking of the Shaft theme song, with a funky wah wah guitar groove playing every time he walks down the street, Shaft can’t help but be a groovy cat. Plus the music from Shaft won an Oscar.
6. The moustache is so amazing that it deserves at least one more mention.
7. Shaft calls everybody “baby”, not just the ladies. Cops, gang members, chicks, friends from Harlem – they are all “baby” to Shaft. That’s suave.
8. Not to appear too tough, Shaft has a soft side. You can count on him to give money to those in need, especially to poor black children in Harlem. But of course, that just endears him even more to the ladies.
9. No one can pull off an endless series of tight turtleneck sweaters, plaid tight slacks, leather pants, and seventies-style leather jackets like Shaft.
10. Did I mention the moustache?

Tags Shaft . Richard Roundtree . moustache

I’m a child of the seventies. I was born in 1976, a decade known for its disco music, moustaches, and tight pants, but I was largely oblivious to these wonders. I grew up without a television for the most part, which I think was a good thing in many ways as I was forced to find other ways of amusing myself (reading, playing “time machine” with my brother, playing outside).

But now I find myself at a loss when people refer to movies, television, and music from the seventies and early eighties. I have no idea what they are talking about for the most part. It’s as if I woke up one morning under a rock in the late eighties and entirely missed the pop culture of the previous decade.

I found myself watching the movie Rollerball the other evening. After a few hours of roller skates and leisure suits in a futuristic setting, I resolved that I must know more about the decade of my birth. This is going to be my Summer of the Seventies. Like the John Moe’s experiment in the book Conservatize Me, I plan to immerse myself in all things seventies for the summer. I’m not going to cut myself off entirely from entertainment from other decades, but the remainder of the summer I hereby pledge to read books and watch movies from the seventies as much as possible.

If you have any suggestions for books or movies that I can’t miss, I welcome your suggestions.

Let the fun begin.

Tags: The Seventies . Rollerball . Conservatize Me