My family has a love affair with the movie Fiddler on the Roof. Every family has its own unique traditions, and one of ours is to settle down for a viewing of Fiddler every Thanksgiving after we have gorged ourselves on turkey, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, and my mom’s famous blackberry pie.
Thus I was somewhat surprised to find that Topol, the actor who plays the lead character Tevye the milkman in Fiddler, also has a prominent role in Flash Gordon. Topol plays Dr. Hans Zarkov, an eccentric scientist who is ridiculed for his theories about the destruction of the Earth by an unkown entity. As I watched the film I kept expecting Zarkov to break into a jig and belt out an invigorating rendition of “If I Were a Rich Man” or “To life! To life! L’chai-im!”. So it was a little difficult for me to take Zarkov’s character seriously in Flash Gordon.
Actually it was hard for me to take anything seriously in Flash Gordon. And that is the beauty of the movie - it is an unabashedly campy, over-the-top film. Starring Sam J. Jones as New York Jets quarterback Flash Gordon, Melody Anderson as Dale Arden and Max von Sydow as the evil Emperor Ming the Merciless, Flash Gordon is the lastest movie that I am happy to add to my “So Bad It’s Good” collection.
Flash Gordon begins with Ming the Merciless, Emporer of the kingdom of Mongo, who decides to wreak havoc on the utterly unimportant planet Earth out of boredom. The Earth is beseiged by a series of natural disasters, including huricanes, typhoons, meteor storms, tornadoes, earthquakes, and volcanic eruptions… not to mention the deadly hot hail and the dastardly strange craters in the wilderness. This turn of events forces a small airplane carrying Dale and Flash to make an emergency landing, and they manage to land safely in Dr. Zarkov’s laboratory. Zarkov tricks them into launching into outerspace in his rocket so that they can confront the evil entity that is convinced must be attacking the Earth.
The trio lands on the planet of Mongo, ruled by the evil Emperor Ming the Merciless. Ming rules with an iron fist, and by encouraging feuds between the rival kingdoms in his domain. Ming puts Flash to death, but he is promptly resurrected by Ming’s spoiled daughter Princess Aura (Ornella Muti) who smuggles him out of Mongo and tries to seduce him.
Flash and Aura travel to the Kingdom of Arboria, where Prince Barin (Timothy Dalton) imprisons Flash in a cage lowered into a foul swamp. Flash relies upon his wits and manages to escape from Arboria, only to end up in the Kingdom of Prince Vultan (Brian Blessed) and his flying hawkmen. Eventually Flash manages to get the feuding princes Vultan and Barin to work together to overthrow Ming. They all travel back to Mongo, where they interrupt Ming’s wedding to the reluctant Dale and save the day. Oh, happy day! Cue - Flash Gordon theme song!
And what a theme song it is. One of my favorite aspects to Flash Gordon is the soundtrack, entirely composed by Queen. The iconic theme song is the anthem for the entire fim - “Flash! ah-ahh! Savior of the Universe! He’ll save everyone of us! Flash! ah-ahh! He’s a miracle! King of the impossible! He’s for everyone of us!” After watching the movie now I’m just itching to get my hands on the Flash Gordon album.
Pathetic earthlings. Hurling your bodies out into the void, without the slightest inkling of who or what is out here. If you had known anything about the true nature of the universe, anything at all, you would’ve hidden from it in terror. ~Ming the Merciless